Important things to do before you say ‘’I do’’

Important things to do before you say ‘’I do’’

Marriage can be a wonderful institution. Love, companionship, the rearing of children, spiritual togetherness and financial partnership – the list goes on and the benefits are great, but with one very specific condition…you need to go into it with your eyes wide open!

Whether it is the first marriage or a second or third, every time the circumstances will have changed and especially if you have not managed to make the first one work, perhaps you need to consider if, before you went into marriage, you really examined all the pros and cons and carried out the important things to do before you say ‘’I do?’’

Eliminate fears

Please don’t think this article is in any way designed to discourage you from getting married – on the contrary, it is specifically designed, together with the collaboration of a couple of my trusted colleagues to assist you and just make sure that not all your efforts are placed simply on putting the big day together, but also on carrying out what may be the less enviable tasks that will ensure your marriage is a long-lasting and happy one.

One of the biggest fears, and the one that often leaves the Bride or Groom standing alone at the altar as their spouse makes a break for it out the side door of the Church, is that you are going to lose out on all the great things a single life can offer you.  

Well, truth be told, there are advantages to being single and forming a partnership for life is not easy. MARRIAGE IS DIFFICULT – this cannot be put any other way or emphasised enough, so without a doubt, well before you enter into it, you both need to face the reality that most marriages end in divorce and you need to ask the 64 million dollar question – ‘’why is this so?’’

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About the author:

Marléne Nunes

Trained as a life coach, TRE advanced provider, QEC practitioner, Pilates & Callanetics instructor, massage therapist, facilitator and trainer; she has coached and trained scores of people through their own journey of mental and physical discovery and transformation. This is Marléne Nunes – living a life of purpose and offering over 35 years of working in the industry and even longer life experience.

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Has freeze replaced fight or flight as a response to fear?

Has freeze replaced fight or flight as a response to fear?

Right now with the recent events in the world, many people are feeling like they are simply in a state of limbo. What do you do when you don’t feel you can fight an unseen or unknown enemy or threat, as we have seen over the past 18 months, and flight is not an option? The result ultimately is that many of us, locked in our protective bubbles, have simply become frozen in time and space. 

Fear is the enemy

Added to these feelings of helplessness and being in limbo is the fear of the consequences of the recent unrest in our country. Now many of us suddenly don’t even feel safe in our bubbles and again begin to question these fight or flight options. 

Should we remain and fight our fears, or (like no doubt many will choose, as soon as they can travel freely again) should we head for what we believe to be safer pastures? Whatever your choices may be (albeit unconscious) and especially if you feel like remaining frozen is the only option available when facing any kind of fear, you need to learn a new response consciously based on the awareness of what triggers your fears. 

Simply ignoring how you are feeling emotionally and putting it on the back burner, will see you emotionally crippled before you know it – and then totally unable to make any important decisions that serve you or the greater humanity. 

Where are you right now?

The first and most important thing to do is to ask yourself (and honestly answer) a couple of important questions. “How are you feeling right now?” – and “how are you experiencing life at this moment?”

If you are feeling fear and, frozen in your response to it, living your life in limbo, then ask yourself this…”If there were skills you could acquire to release yourself from these fears and successfully fight the emotional upheaval and sense of limbo you have been feeling – would you do so?” – Or “as the leader of a workforce – if you could snap your employees out of this state of apathy that has resulted in poor productivity and little creative input – would you try to?”

An effective solution is at hand

To assist people struggling with emotional dis-regulation causing disharmony that ultimately will lead to impacting their physical bodies and cognitive functions, I am facilitating a 6-week workshop that will enable the utilisation of effective techniques and processes to release the fears and pain and move forward again.

It will equip you with the skills to move through your emotional responses to triggers with more insight, thereby negating their power over your responses. This is the art of self-regulation.

For many of us, flight is not an option, so it’s time for us to be more resourceful and open to alternate possibilities in the midst of what may seem like chaos. As a Master Coach, through my Coaching platform Self and More, I facilitate the combination of body, mind and soul practices to enable people in all walks of life to enjoy positive, productive lives with meaning and purpose, regardless of whatever trauma or circumstances they may have or be facing.

Sign up for the course – or just talk to me, and let me assist you to deal with whatever might be causing you to freeze when facing your fears.

Stay safe – and stay invested in your wellbeing!

 

Read the full article here...

About the author:

Marléne Nunes

Trained as a life coach, TRE advanced provider, QEC practitioner, Pilates & Callanetics instructor, massage therapist, facilitator and trainer; she has coached and trained scores of people through their own journey of mental and physical discovery and transformation. This is Marléne Nunes – living a life of purpose and offering over 35 years of working in the industry and even longer life experience.

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Are your values adding value to your life?

Are your values adding value to your life?

Once again we are being driven back into our COVID cocoons, sheltering ourselves from wave after wave of this cursed and relentless pandemic.

Like facing a tsunami that just won’t quit, many of us are drowning in financial issues, relationship issues and our issues of feeling helpless and scared of an onslaught that is bigger than all of us.

Even our work is no longer about the workplace but for many some remote work space that leaves us feeling detached and re-examining our life paths. Suddenly. change has swiftly left us all feeling unable to control our lives or our destiny – and that doesn’t sit easily with anyone. 

This is a time when AA’s serenity prayer “’God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” seems very relevant to all of us.

So what can I, as a life and business coach, say to support you at this time? Well, firstly have the courage to examine the main thing in your life that can assist you to be at least more in control of your own feelings, emotions and reactions to this uncontrollable situation: your core values.

The lockdown situation has been a challenging one from all angles, not the least of which is our relationships, so this article sets out to try to give you a list of the values that will help to support you, drive you and make you someone not only happy within themselves but, at least, for the most part, a pleasure to be with!

WHAT ARE YOUR VALUES?

You need to think about the values you hold and whether these are your values or if they derived from the influences of others in your family or community, the media (particularly social media – sometimes very misleading!), the Government, or simply archetypal influences – i.e. women are expected to be nurturers and men are expected to be providers!

Don’t get me wrong – it is important and helpful to have some good core values. They can make life decisions and goals easier to create and define, and relationships easier to decide on. One with clear core values is less likely to have negative thought patterns, especially in difficult life situations, be more easily able to tolerate physical pain, have greater self-discipline and stronger social connections.

This is all good and well and if we were all the same and happy to adhere to a set of archetypal core values, we would not need to examine our values, but the reality is that we are not and if we are to live fulfilled and meaningful lives we must establish that the core values we hold are driving us forward and not just anchoring us to keep our heads underwater when we face the storms of life. As the pandemic has too clearly shown us: there is a finite time for which you can hold your breath! 

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About the author:

Marléne Nunes

Trained as a life coach, TRE advanced provider, QEC practitioner, Pilates & Callanetics instructor, massage therapist, facilitator and trainer; she has coached and trained scores of people through their own journey of mental and physical discovery and transformation. This is Marléne Nunes – living a life of purpose and offering over 35 years of working in the industry and even longer life experience.

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What is a Business coach?

What is a Business coach?

What is a Business coach – and do I need one?          

Many people confuse Business Coaches with Life Coaches, understandably so because there are some common goals and many Business Coaches are also Life Coaches. As confusing as that may sound, all be revealed as we explore these two questions “What is a Business Coach – and do I need one?’’

It may be helpful if you read my previous article on ‘What is a Life Coach (and do I need one)? As you will already have a clearer idea of exactly what Life Coaches do. There is however a significant difference between these two types of Coaches so let’s begin with…

What is a Business Coach?

In essence, the Business Coach works on Coaching the Business Owner to achieve their goals for the business. That is the focus of the Business Coach, but this often involves working on the skills and aspirations of the individuals in the business, which is where some Life Coaching skills come in. So, obviously there is some integration of the two disciplines.

To simplify it a little – as one observer put it ”A Business Coach will assist and guide the Business Owner in running a business by helping them clarify the vision of their business and how it fits in with their personal goals. Business coaching is a process used to take a business from where it is now to where the business owner wants it to be.”

The Business Coach assists the owner – or his team, depending on the circumstances to set crystal clear goals and definitions of their values and work priorities. Together with the Business Owner, the Coach then maps out ways and timelines to achieving these goals.

A clear action plan is created on how to move ahead and progress, but along the way, the Business Coach guides and assists you to stay on track. There are of course many elements to a Business Coaching program – from the business plan to the people, to the financial aspects of maintaining the bottom line – and every Business Coach will have a different strategy.

Read the full article here...

About the author:

Marléne Nunes

Trained as a life coach, TRE advanced provider, QEC practitioner, Pilates & Callanetics instructor, massage therapist, facilitator and trainer; she has coached and trained scores of people through their own journey of mental and physical discovery and transformation. This is Marléne Nunes – living a life of purpose and offering over 35 years of working in the industry and even longer life experience.

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What is a Life Coach?

What is a Life Coach?

What is a Life Coach – and do I need one?

There are 2 questions within the title of this article and obviously the former needs to be explained to ascertain the latter. These are only two of many questions that are asked though about life coaching and so I’m going to answer some important ones to see if I can be of assistance to you – assuming you need me at all? Well, let’s find out…

What is a Life Coach?

In technical terminology, according to Wikipedia “Life coaching is the process of helping people identify and achieve personal goals through developing skills and attitudes that lead to self-empowerment. Life coaching generally deals with issues such as work-life balance and career changes, and often occurs outside the workplace setting.”’

To elaborate on the definition, what does renowned Life Coach Anthony Robbins have to say about it? “The life coach definition is someone professionally trained to help you maximize your full potential and reach your desired results. They are like a supportive friend and a trusted adviser rolled into one. They’re someone who will push you to identify your goals, hold you accountable and provide encouragement throughout your journey to become a better version of yourself.”

My definition is that life coaching is a solution focussed approach to personal development that can make meaningful change in all areas of your life and ultimately lead you to be a happier person through balance and a life of purpose. A life coach makes you aware of your own abilities, strengths and weaknesses and teaches you to leverage these to arouse the incredibly strong being that lives inside each of us.

Whatever definition you chose, they all do align, and all lead to another frequently asked question which is “Well, isn’t this what therapists do?” Actually, they are not the same.

What is the difference between a Life Coach and a Therapist?

The essential difference is that Life Coaches are not medical professionals and have not been trained to treat many areas of mental health like mood disorders, anxiety disorders, addiction, or any other of the typically less serious mental health conditions.

Counselling, sometimes referred to as psychotherapy, is generally a long-term process involving a healthcare professional who attempts to diagnose and resolve problematic issues like unusual behaviour, relationship concerns, traumatic feelings and sometimes even physical responses. Phycologists focus on traumas that can lead to self-destructive habits and try to treat these by working through painful feelings.

 

Read the full article here...

About the author:

Marléne Nunes

Trained as a life coach, TRE advanced provider, QEC practitioner, Pilates & Callanetics instructor, massage therapist, facilitator and trainer; she has coached and trained scores of people through their own journey of mental and physical discovery and transformation. This is Marléne Nunes – living a life of purpose and offering over 35 years of working in the industry and even longer life experience.

Website | Email

 

 

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